Oh, the places you'll go!

Sometimes I think I’m being too hard on people and maybe they aren’t nearly as irritating and stupid as I assume they are.

Then I leave my house and all that logic goes down the shitter.

On the way to work today, some guy rolls up to me in one of those stupid monster trucks that’s really just a regular truck with HUGE tires, and shouts out his window, “Nice cigarette butt, lady!”

What the fuck, buddy?? I didn’t throw a damn cigarette butt out the window. I don’t even have any cigarettes in my car though people like this make me wish I did. Anyway, we were at a stoplight and once I manually rolled down my car window (which makes me look much less hardcore about everything), that’s exactly what I said to this asshole. Yeah. That probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do so I drove away really fast.

Then I get to work and this dumb broad that sits next to the woman who’s been coughing for two weeks straight, comes over to me while I’m taking a big bite out of an apple and says, “Wow. You like apples too? I LOVE THEM.”

OMG! We should be besties!

Seriously, I know very few people who hate apples so I’m thinking this one of the dumbest common denominators ever.

Once we got bast that INCREDIBLE coincidence, she says to me, “Am I the reason you’re bringing in your iPod now?”

Well dudes. I could nothing else but lay my head down on my desk and laugh.

I should’ve just said, “Yeah you are.” Because who would ask someone that? And like I’d really tell her?

Since coughing lady isn’t here today I decided to just lay it on the line. I said, “No. You’re not. Your neighbor is. The one who’s been coughing for two weeks. The coughing that makes me want to stab my own face.”

She said, “Ohhhhhh.” And walked away.

I’m pretty sure that was another case of “not the smartest thing to do.”

In other news, I want someone to buy me something fancy and expect something in return.