Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Well, I'm a real asshole.

Yeah. So today is my boss’s birthday and NO ONE BOTHERED TO TELL ME THIS. I’m one of three direct reports she has and I didn’t even give her a flipping card. There goes my raise this year.

Speaking of work, most days I have a snack of some kind while I’m here because I’m not very good at eating a “real” lunch during the work week. And also because sometimes I’m just hungry for one. Usually this involves fruit or popcorn because I only eat like 10 different foods total. Yes. I’m aware that this is not normal. ANYWAY, if I’m eating popcorn, someone has to comment on it EVERY FUCKING TIME. As though the concept of microwave popcorn is so foreign, or so unattainable, that every one of my effing co-workers has to live vicariously through my consumption of it rather than just buying some of their own.

I’ve been unusually tolerant of this bullshit but today I cracked. The same fat woman who always says shit to me about being skinny, blah, blah, blah, (in that fake nice way that’s meant to make me feel bad because she has to wear stretch pants all week) said something again about the popcorn and how she’s surprised I’m not fat because I eat it three times a week. HUH? This makes no sense but whatever. She’s standing there, telling me this, with a package of King Sized Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups in her hands, so I told her we should compare nutrition information on our snacks. Because in my estimation, hers has more fat in it than I probably eat in a day.

I think I might’ve “nipped that in the bud.”

In other news, I’m finally tired of country music. Minus Keith Urban, Brad Paisley, Sawyer Brown, and… shit. Nevermind.

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