Eric owned a pretty big chunk of real estate in my heart. There are literally years of my life that are filled to the brim with memories involving him. My life would not be the same life had he never been a part of it.
This news has just thrown me back and honestly, I refuse to believe that he is gone. Not FOREVER. No way. I've had family members die, and sure that's sad. But you're OBLIGATED to feel sad sometimes when those people die. Friends? Friends you make a conscious choice to allow into your life. You WANT them there. So when they suddenly leave and you get no say in the whole thing, you're left with this emptiness.
You can't ever fill that with someone else. It will never be the same.
Here's the thing. Eric lived his life doing exactly what he wanted to do. Most people are too chicken to throw caution to the wind and just go for it. Eric was never like this. He was fearless in this regard and I always envied that. This quality tends to make people pretty damn selfish but he was just the opposite. He was a good person. Just an all-around good person. The kind of person that left an impression on everyone he met. He just had that golden touch.
And now what? Life just goes on. It pisses me off. Just for today, everything should slow down a bit and accommodate my grief. I don't want to just "go on" but life doesn't really leave us a choice. So back into the world I go. Here I come. Not sure if I'm ready.
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