Well, what the fuck. 2009 is almost down the toilet and what did I flush along with it? Well, a husband, a house, and my health. HURRAY!
Oh My apologies. Since a lot of my family is in jail, not talking to me because my mom pissed them off, or otherwise occupied; the fact that I'm divorced might be new news. In that case, go grab my Christmas card out of the mailbox quick (the one you're only sending me because you got this newsletter and said, "SHIT. Now I have to send her one.) and scribble out my ex-husband's name. If you even knew it to begin with. Hint: It rhymes with GLAD.
Anyway, yeah. So along with that went my house. Which means I can no longer bitch about property taxes with my miserable co-workers. Speaking of which, I got a promotion at work. Since you didn't know what I did in the first place, I'm not even going to bother going into more detail. Just keep going with that whole, "She went to college" thing.
In June, I got the Swine Flu from the male roommate I was scandalously living with until I realized I need required a living situation providing me with modern comforts like a stove and a dishwasher. And electricity on a consistent basis. And no. I'm sorry to say I didn't get the Swine Flu because I slept with him. What do you take me for? A whore? THAT WAS YEARS AGO.
Other than that, nothing's really changed. I'm still suffering from OCD, claustrophobia, and a fear of large birds. I discovered I really don't like dogs that much. I guess that's new. And I tend to date a lot of guys with oddly possessive behaviors when it comes to their eyeglass cases. I guess that's not really new. I'm just realizing it.
I'm incredibly sick of talking about myself so I'm done now.
Merry Christmas, Asshats!
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